When I awake

About a year back I had a near death experience; a misadventure during a rafting trip.  I woke  up the night after the incident traumatized because I thought the tent I was sleeping in was the cruel river.

I was afraid to close my eyes fearing that I would find myself in the freezing water.I remember rummaging through my backpack searching in vain for the Bible I knew that I didn’t pack. I just needed something , anything that would hold me safe.

A year later I still wake up to that afternoon. But it does not traumatize me anymore. It provides clarity in my life; for when I was being pushed down and coughed up by the water  certain the end was near, I had a revelation!

People say that when one  comes close to death their whole life flashes before them. It is true, only partially. It is the good parts of one’s life that comes to mind. The laughter, the joy, family and friends. Things that  matter, the  things that really should matter. I like to believe that it is natures’ in built defense mechanism. You are forced to realize that there is so much waiting for you out there ;forced  to fight with every ounce of energy in your body to survive.

My defence mechanism was my family and friends. Suddenly,I understood why I buy expensive flight tickets home  every month for the hugs, kisses, advises and admonitions that wait for me when the plane touches down at the other side. I realized that I could never have gotten to be who I am ‘without a little help from friends’.

So tonight when I woke up to the raging waters of the Zanskar, I just closed my eyes and let the waters help me put things back into perspective; remind me again what really matters.

For I know when I wake up tomorrow ‘Everything is going to be OK’.